James and the Giant Squid
by Anitapapaya
Summary: The Marauders will do anything to keep boredom away. Anything.


A/N: Got the Scottish summer times and Hogwarts exam times from the internet. Let's just pretend they're correct. Thanks.

I know it sounds ridiculous. But squids use colours and chemical signals to communicate. I just hope that the Giant Squid can use magic to make it easier. That's a small plot hole but I haven't written fiction in years. Literally years. Oh well. IMAGINATION.

The last two conversation lines are actual quotes from James and the Giant Peach.

I don't own anything. It's all a homage to good old JK and Roald Dahl(the reference and quote)

Review if you can. Or whatever. Thanks for reading J

* * *

Summer came early to Hogwarts in the fourth year of James' schooling. Hot, sweltering afternoons mixed with the unavoidable examinations (to be taken seated still and silently) in the second week of June had left the boisterous marauders in a very itchy, uncomfortable and restless mood.

"Someone tell me who came up with the _great_ idea of making exams so long because I've got a few words for them," grumbled Sirius as the four friends made their way down to the bank of the Black lake having just finished their final paper of the year, "and even after my patience was tested, we STILL have to wait for the professors to grade our work and return it and that will take at least a week."

"A week of freedom Sirius" Remus reminded his friend.

"Remus Remus Remus. A week of absolutely nothing to do is as bad as a week of homework. All my plans have been kidnapped by the evil clutches of the heat. I can't do anything without sweating buckets under this abominable sun and let me tell you, that's NOT attractive," Sirius collapsed dramatically onto the slightly cooler grass overlooking the great lake.

"My, how terrible that your romantic endeavours which you never even take seriously are under threat."

"Shut it Moony. You don't understand. All that Sirius and I have are our dashing good looks, chiselled bodies and athletics. Now that we can't show them off with our fancy tricks because it's so hot, we have nothing. Nothing! More importantly, how will I ever get Evans looking like a melted popsicle?"

James whined, uprooting some grass and throwing it at Sirius. This started a mild scuffle which Remus scoffed at and had Peter running around, trying to avoid his tangled adolescent friends. Giving up, James and Sirius broke apart and lay down under the sun, flapping their shirts in a bid to cool down.

Catching a glimpse of a toned torso, Peter mused, "You know, wouldn't the heat be an excuse for the two of you to run around without your shirts? So wouldn't that make the girls go wild? And the sweat makes it look like you've just got out of a shower with a glistening body and all…." He trailed off as the other three slowly turned towards him with incredulous looks on their faces.

"That's a bit gay Peter."

"Is that what you always think about when you stare blankly into open space?"

"Man, you're creepy."

They settled into a comfortable silence, enjoying a spot of breeze that blown in from the lake.

"Hey Remus! Is that Evans with her friends dipping their legs into the lake a bit further down from where we are?"

"Mmhmm"

"…I suppose Peter's idea worth a try. What do you say Pads?"

James and Sirius grinned manically and ripped their shirts off as they ran towards Lily.

"Come on Remus! Put your book down. I want to see how she reacts to his advances this time."

Approaching the group of girls, they could see James and Sirius attempting to show off their muscles while Lily rolled her eyes and her friends giggled.

They heard Lily exclaim "Go away Potter and take Black with you. I don't even know why you still try! I'd rather date the Giant Squid than you!"

At that, Remus stepped forward and started to drag the two idiots away, intent on being a gentleman and saving the peace of the ladies. Returning to their initial spot, the four boys fell to the ground, laughing full bodily. A playful banter started.

"I suppose I have to challenge the Giant Squid now for the right to court Evans?"

"Ha! James and the Giant Squid."

"Why is that so funny Remus? You have weird humour."

"It's a muggle book refer- Oh nevermind. I don't suppose that while you're at it, you could maybe ask him to send a spray of water our way to cool the place down."

James turned to Remus and with wide, twinkling eyes, he exclaimed, "Remus you wonderful genius. That would solve everything" Sirius and Peter nodded fervently in excitement.

"Wait. No. It was a joke. I was kidding. You can't actually swim in the Black Lake, it's way too cold! And you'd have to find a way to breathe underwater for that long. Not to mention having to communicate with the squid. Anyways, you'll get into a crazy amount of trouble. "

"When do we _not_ get into trouble Mr Goodytwoshoes. What's the point of following the rules so close to the end of the school year anyways?"

"Oh just ignore Moony. He always comes around. Come on James! Let's go plan our final escapade of the year."

After two entire nights of discussion, planning and research, the plan was formed.

Firstly, James and Sirius would make their way down to the Black Lake with a token (fish snuck out of the kitchens with the help of some of the elves), gillyweed (snuck out of the potion room by invisible cloak) and a stone with inscription on it for dramatic effect. Having researched how to become Animagi for Remus' benefit, the two had become well versed in transfiguration. Hence, James would have to use the gillyweed, swim to meet the Giant Squid, transfigure into a squid head for communication, give him the token, enquire about his services and make him sign the stone.

Secondly, Remus and Peter would make posters for the common room about a summer 'beach' party next to the Black Lake for all the bored Gryffindors. They'd advertise it as a spectacle created by the other two who had a reputation for having fun (albeit slightly illegally). That would ensure that enough people would be there to get sprayed. Furthermore, Remus would use his friendship with Lily to ensure that she came down to see it too.

Finally, on the third day since the proposal of the idea, the plan was set in motion. After getting a cheeky acknowledgement from the giant squid who had been feeling rather lonely because the students had always thought it to be dangerous, the advertisement for the party went full out, with the promise of a 'water fight'.

By the time of the party on the fifth day, word had spread throughout the Gryffindor house and most of the tower was ready to party under the hot sun on the bank of the Black Lake. Halfway through the partying, a dark figure was seen approaching the bank from the far end of the lake. A scared silence wrought with mummers built up as the figure got closer and closer. All of a sudden, the figure leapt into the air and crashed down into the lake, its tentacles sending a splash of water over the entire party! James and Sirius, who had been waiting for this moment, leapt into the air on their brooms yelling "Water fight! Water fight! And say hi to the Giant Squid while you're at it! He agreed to cool us down! " while Remus and Peter uncovered a huge pile of buckets filled with water balloons for the students to use in the water fight. Shocked at what had just occurred, most of the party remained frozen, staring at the squid that was now waving as many of its tentacles as it could in a friendly manner. Fortunately, the spell was broken by one of the boys firing a water bomb randomly into the crowd which resulted in a mad dash to get as much ammunition as possible and a water fight broke out with much gusto.

James, still on his broom, flew around in search of Lily and upon spotting her, gave a signal to the squid. The Giant Squid somehow aimed a stream of water specifically at Lily, drenching her and getting her attention. It then threw a stone at her. Catching it, Lily turned the ink drenched stone over and wiping it, read the inscription carved into it. 'I would very much like to date Evans but since I can't come on land, I relinquish my role to James Potter. Signed, the giant squid'. The marauders who had known of the plan waited with bated breath to see her reaction. Thankfully, Lily, who was already in a good mood because of the cooler weather and the excitement of the fight, just started laughing.

"It's a good try Potter…I'll give you that. However, this isn't going to change my mind. If it's any consolation, I think you pulled this off really well and managed to cool us all down while celebrating the end of the term and that certainly warrants at least a kiss on the cheek. Thank you!"

And so, the day ended with a somewhat successful endeavour in which James' declarations of love took a small step forward, the Giant Squid was now known to be friendly, and all the students that had complained of boredom and heat were now content after having fought a valiant water fight. Best of all, the teachers had taken the marauder's act in good humour and didn't issue any detention. The water fight was the talk of the entire school for the rest of the term, including the final feast and the trip back to King's Cross Station.

In their train carriage, the four friends laughed as they reminisced about their escapades and talked about their plans for the summer. Saying their goodbyes at the station, James asked "We'll always be together, right?" To which Remus replied, "Kid, you're stuck with us, for life."


End file.
